


homecoming

by eldritchbee



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Canon Compliant, Depression, Found Families, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Rebuild canon, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 06:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13184583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldritchbee/pseuds/eldritchbee
Summary: When Shinji woke up, fourteen years ago felt like yesterday. It was different for Misato and Asuka. Canon compliant to the Rebuild movies, and only until 3+1 comes out.





	1. part 1 (missing you)

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted from tumblr from a request from tumblr user [sansascully](http://sansascully.tumblr.com)

Asuka sits near the heart of the ship, feet dangling over the rails, throwing chunks of dirt, blood red, that she’d picked up from her last trip outside. By the time she hears them crack open at the bottom, they are out of sight. Beneath her is all dark, and she can only hope she’s chucking the clods in the correct place.

“That won’t wake him up.”

She doesn’t turn, doesn’t even stop what she’s doing, she has a whole bag and she’s not going to waste her precious break to give Misato any sort of look. “Who says that’s what I’m doing?” she says, throwing another clod, a smaller one, farther this time.

There’s a small sigh behind her, and for a second Asuka thinks she heard something of a sob the sound of a mouse’s squeak from the Captain. “I used to do it too. For a whole year.”

Asuka doesn’t speak.

“I used to talk to him too.”

“The fucking moron wouldn’t wake up just because you shout at him.” One clod of dirt gets crushed in her hands, it makes no difference. Red is red. “He needs a better push forward.”

Behind her, Misato laughs. Asuka holds out her hand, letting the dirt on her fingertips sprinkle to the heart of the ship down below where someone sleeps.

(As pieces of dust clatter against his coffin, Shinji Ikari’s lips move imperceptibly.

He doesn’t wake.

Not yet.)


	2. part 2 (welcome home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from prompt by himemiyaa: "coming home"

They stand across from each other for the first time since she leveled a gun at him and threatened to activate the bomb around his neck. “Awkward” would be putting it lightly. If Mari were here, or Ritsuko or even Asuka, it wouldn’t be so. One of them would say something crass, rude, some sort of ice breaker. But the two of them, they’ve always been too similar.

Unsure of what to do next. It didn’t help that these fourteen years had taken away Misato’s passion for covering up for that awkwardness with constant rambling, leaving both of them staring at the ground. What to do next.

Misato crosses the space first, she figures as the adult that’s her job. Make the first move, hold Shinji by the shoulders and try to make him look her in the face.

He refuses. Still so angry, still so lost and abandoned after the death of the Thirteenth Angel.

“Shinji,” she says, and what comes from Shinji’s mouth is half a sob and half a laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’m disappointed I didn’t die there too.”

Something happens deep inside of her, for a second she wants to hit him for even thinking that, but instead pulls him into a tight hug. She loses it, for the first time i thirteen years becomes a crying mess, all snot and spit bubbles that leak onto Shinji’s head. He makes no move, only says in a low voice: “Misato. That’s gross.”

“Welcome home, stupid,” she says. “Welcome home.”

(he only moves his arms to hold her elbows still, they’re shaking so hard. he even murmurs a little under his breath, though she can’t hear that it sounds like ‘thanks’. it’s not perfect, not what it used to be, they still need time for those wounds to heal. but it’s a start.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally posted may 21, 2014


	3. part 3 (good enough)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again from himemiyaa, prompt is: don't give up
> 
> this is the last one only because it's the last one from 2014, i imagine when 3+1 comes out it'll be null and void and i'll have to write new fic anyway :"I

It’s all he can do not to scream, remembering hand son top of his and voice whispering in his ear. It’s all he can do not to scream as Asuka lifts him up and keeps him from dying. (It figures, she always does the opposite of what he wants. She never leaves him alone. Always always always…

he’ll never get what he wants.)

“I should have been the one to die,” he says, in his scratchy voice, unused to talking for days, weeks, months (he’s lost track of time when he finally wakes). “Kaworu was the one who should have lived, I was never…”

(Misato slaps him, he finds it doesn’t hurt as hard as her words when he woke up the last time. He finds it doesn’t hurt as much as closing his eyes and seeing blood blood blood everywhere.)

(“Someone died for you,” Asuka says one night. “Some shitty angel died so that you could live. And you don’t think that means anything?

You really are a brat.”)

(Shinji screams at her until Misato has to come in and make sure he isn’t lashing out in any other way, he screams until his voice gives out and his throat has the taste of blood. Then he leans back, holds the pillow over his face, and waits for them to leave.)

(“He needs to figure this out for himself,” says the woman who didn’t kill him when she could, “You know he will. Give him time.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally posted may 20, 2014

**Author's Note:**

> originally written march 29, 2014


End file.
